Noah's Ark - the extra cruises

How did Noah get the island-dwelling animals on board the Ark? I assume that before the flood, he took the Ark around the world to pick them up. Otherwise, how would he have gotten the koalas from Australia, the kiwis from New Zealand, the giant tortoises from the Galapagos, and the forty-two different tree snails that were found only in Hawaii? For that matter, how did he get all the South American animals (New World monkeys, giant anteaters, alpacas, anacondas, etc.)? Too bad we didn't get the details of that cruise.

And after the flood, how did he get them back home, since the Ark was stuck on Mt. Ararat? I suppose he must have made a second Ark, to haul them all back. As far as I know, the Ark did not have engines, so these two extra cruises must have taken an awfully long time. Perhaps that is why Noah had to live 950 years.

Noah's Ark - beetles

Consider the beetles on the Ark. There are at least 350,000 species of beetles, which must walk up the gangplank two by two. If one pair arrives every second around the clock, it takes more than four days just to load the beetles. And if they each get one square inch of deck space, it takes an area of 32 by 32 cubits to hold them (remember, the Ark itself is only 50 cubits wide). I'm guessing they were loaded before the elephants and rhinos, to avoid squashing problems.

Noah's Ark - Two by two

So the animals went on board the Ark in pairs, one male and one female (well, to be more accurate, Genesis states some went on board as sevens... some pretty kinky sex there, I guess). That makes me wonder about those species of animals with no males, such as the New Mexico whiptail lizard (must have been a long walk to get to the Ark, but that's another story). All of the whiptails are females, and they reproduce parthenogenetically (virgin birth, you know). Not only that, but the females engage in mounting behavior with each other. So did Noah acknowledge these animal lesbians as they came on board? Or did he just pretend that one was a male?

Incidentally, if you are not aware, homosexuality is far from "unnatural". To find lots and lots of examples in the animal kingdom, take a look at Biological Exuberance, by Bruce Bagemihl.

Noah's Ark - parasites

If all the animals were on the Ark, then the human endo- and ecto-parasites must have been there, presumably inside or on members of Noah's family (in Christian tradition, they were the only humans on board). Must not have been a very pleasant cruise... fleas, ticks, tapeworms, lots of different roundworms (including the nasty Guinea worm). They were ridden with multiple diseases, such as schistosoma, filariasus, toxocara, and malaria. A bunch of these parasites would have been causing diarrhea, vomiting, fever, blood loss, and lots of itching. I'm guessing both Noah and his wife had crabs and scabies. They were probably more than ready to get back on solid land and start their long healing process.

Who has the best design?

Something I don't understand about Intelligent Design (ID). Presumably the same Designer perfected the designs of every plant and animal. So let's say a cougar kills a deer, even though the deer in question is young, healthy, and has a nice rack of sharp antlers. Can't we infer that the cougar had a better design than the deer? After all, if the deer had a perfect design, it would use its perfect senses to detect the cougar's approach, its perfect reflexes to go into a fighting stance, and its perfect weapons to defeat the cougar (and perhaps its perfect immune system to heal any scratches that occurred).

But this didn't happen. So does the Designer like cougars better than deer? Does the Designer just like the taste of venison, or like to watch the kill? Did the Designer accidentally or deliberately include flaws in the design of the deer? Or maybe, just maybe, the Designer created evolution and sat back to let it run its course on Earth?

A great Christmas gift

My daughter gave me a copy of Mark Barrowcliffe's book, The Elfish Gene, about growing up with D&D. Poignant, but also hilarious (for anyone who was a D&D player; my wife did not find it funny when I would read passages to her). Lots of laughing out loud. After Mark's experience, though, I'm glad I was older in the 70s, and played with a (somewhat) more mature crowd. We were all grad students, in biology, astronomy, chemistry, chem engineering, and something like environmental law before that was a major. It helped that we were in Wisconsin, could go to the earliest of the Gencons, and get to know several of the principal designers, most of whom were fairly level-headed and reasonable folks.

Some games

I have designed games for both fantasy roleplay (FRP) and electronic gaming systems (ColecoVision, IntelliVision, Atari 2600, etc.). Some examples of FRP games include the original druid rules for D&D, Bunnies and Burrows, Swordbearer, Heroes of Olympus, and scenarios for RuneQuest, Paranoia, and others. I did a few board games, like Intruder, Star Smuggler and Kung Fu 2100. Also programmed some MUDs and MUSHes.

Some video game examples include Super Action Baseball, Super Action Football, Looping, Destructor, Rocky Boxing, Frenzy, and Smurfs Save the Day. I'm not doing any game design today, though. Happily retired, thank you.